For the last two and a half years I have been a "sales and service" representative at a fast paced telephone/internet company which, in all actuality is customer service with an impossible sales goal and let me tell you, it has been hell the last year and a half and I'll tell you why: 18 months and 11 days ago I was blessed with a beautiful baby girl named Rheya (Ray-ah) she is my world. But not only that, 99.8% of the customers that phone in to this telephone/internet company is a complete moron. I say that with love, of course. I mean sometimes I seriously have to mute my phone and say out loud, "What the fuck?" I won't even go into the details of these morons because even just thinking of them boils my blood.
Let me give you a quick background of me: My name is Ashlee, I grew up in a small town, graduated in a class of about 75 give or take and have/had an alcoholic, self righteous, meth-head, self diagnosed schitzophrenic mother whom I have cut off all ties with about a year ago. I have only ever met my father once when I was in fifth grade and he called me "Alicia" one night when I was wailing for him outside because I was stuck on a fence while him and my "mother" were getting plastered. classy. I generally used to love people. no really, I did! I was very outgoing and was the captain of my cheer squad, a member of show choir, played many roles in many plays. I went to college and was a fashion major until I transfered and moved far, far away from the crazy woman who birthed me. That's when my adventures really started to begin. I basically just stopped going to classes so I could meet as many people as possible, at that point I was just living in the dorms and getting high, drunk whatever, everyone knew where my dorm was and I made so many friends, it was a fun and easy time. But, I got bored, and tired and wanted to move on and meet MORE people and SEE more so what was a girl to do? I sold ALL my stuff, I packed up my red '96 Grand Am as full as I could and I got out of dodge. Again.
I went to the west coast and I was lost. I knew NOBODY. I mean I had transfered my then job at Clinique but the girls there were clique-y and mean and I was the odd man out. I was just some hippy, young girl working a make-up counter with not a clue in the world. These were WOMEN having CAREERS with CHILDREN and they were beautiful. Eventually I made some "fake" friendships with some of them, but I would never be one of them. They fired me. I was done. I didn't know what to do. I had JUST started renting a place in a hipster neighborhood which I could HARDLY afford with a job let alone without. I mean to put it lightly, I was FUCKED. excuse my french....but I was! In a HUGE city with no friends and no money. I think I basically blacked out for like 3 months because I have no clue how I made rent. I was stoned 24/7 watching Bob Ross on my tiny white TV that a woman who worked at the perfume counter gave me, which sat on a cardboard box. I layed on a futon mattress on the floor. and that was my life. I ate potato salad sandwhiches and I was sad. but I didn't know. Eventually my "friend" Corey from San Fransisco came and lived with me and helped with rent and brought ALL the furniture that I so desperatly needed, in a way he slapped me out of my coma but then a couple months down the road he really slapped me and the cops were involved he was kicked out locks changed and I kept all his shit. So I guess it all worked out.
By the time he was kicked out I had started a job at a big corporate bank doing collections. Which is funny because I knew jack crap about anything financial. I don't know why they hired me, the only reason I had applied was because one of my fake friends from the make-up counter drug me to her house, got me high and made me submit my resume's on monster.com. I had even forgotten I had done that until they called. Even throughout the whole interview I was like a zombie, I answered questions and they gave me a tour and introduced me to my boss but even then I was thinking, there's no way they'll hire me ( I should have taken the clue once I was being given a tour and talking with my boss) anyway, I made A LOT of money there, and I was AWESOME at the job, my boss hated me from day one for whatever reason, but I met some amazing people who saved my life. My trainer was the most amazing, sweet and NORMAL person I had met since living in that big ol' city and she was like a mentor to me whether she knew that or not, we still keep in touch here and there. But, the main thing that came out of that job was my now fiance and father of my beautiful daughter, Matt.
My whole mantra in life is "everything happens for a reason" which is cliche and lame, but my god, it's true! read up on that story up there...I should NEVER have worked at this bank...but somehow I did and it was fate. I came in frantic one day running late per usual and if I was late again surely my boss would fire me. I walked in and all the bosses were gone in a meeting, I was so new there I didn't even have a permanent seat and my seat from the previous day was now full...I went to the temporary guy running the dialer and he directed me to sit behind Matt. It was a miracle that the seat was even open because the guy that usually sat there was on vacation in Nigeria for 2 weeks...so it would become my "permanent" spot until he got back. Matt immediatly introduced himself and shook my hand, so professional! (I make fun of him for this all the time now) We hit it off immediately. He was HILARIOUS and kind and everyone loved him, I found myself thinking about him after work and at home. I found out that he was 30 and put the breaks on. I was only 20. I thought this guy was like 25 or 26 he deifinitely looked young. Eveyone always tried to get us to hang out inviting us places together etc etc...and even he tells me from day one people were hounding him to ask me out. Everyone just saw it I guess.
Eventually I finally let him take me on a date and we were connected at the hip ever since. He's my best friend and we make cute babies so I guess I'll keep him. But, don't be fooled it hasn't always been rainbows and ponies and still isn't, but nobody is. In fact I flew back home to the midwest for a weekend and never got on a plane to go home to him I wanted out I was calling it quits I gave him an ultimatum, come with me or stay on the west coast THE ULTIMATE TEST and he chose me.
So thats where we are now and that's how I ended up at this crap hole job which has turned me into a crazy bitch losing her mind or I was...I've been on STD (short term disability) for the last 10 weeks trying to find myself again and be the bubbly fun person I used to be (MINUS the weed of course) I just hit a wall. bawling at my desk I felt there was no way out I wanted to be home with my sweet girl. So I told my therapist and she excused me out of work. That's when summer came early.
These have been the BEST ten weeks of my adult life. I have got to make forts, try new recipes, make my daughter into a mommy's girl (take THAT Daddy! hehe) get on top of my laundry, keep the house clean and just RELAX. I'm a whole new woman and I feel amazing! So amazing that I don't want to go back to the hell hole of a job. Matt and I talked it out, we've stocked up in our savings and we've made a budget and it's just so crazy that it might work and I can do my dream job of stay at home mom. and that makes my heart smile.
So please, stick with me! I've got TONS of crafts to talk about, recipes for me and you to try and fun little ideas for even YOUR little ones and probably some family drama mixed in (I'm not going to filter this blog, shit could get real) So come play with me and my family summer may just come early for you too!
